Archive for the ‘Oh! Darling’ Category

So Hot It Will Melt Your Popsicle

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

So I know I haven’t been around here in like forever. But I kind of abandoned this blog and have been reblogging like crazy on Tumblr. If you’re not already on Tumblr, I don’t suggest you get one. It is one of those things that sucks up your soul time. And while its fun because you totally relate to things you see there, you’ll also be like what the hell happened to the past hour and then your toddler wakes up and is like watch me jump off the top of the couch and attempt to fly and ends up with a bump on her head.

Also… I’ve been pottytraining the toddler. Which is really like omg a pain on my ass.. Literally speaking.. Because I’m sitting there on the floor singing to her, reading to her, listening to her stories while she pretends to pee. So I have to fill her cup with milk and give her a juice pouch so she’ll finally go pee and is like I want stickers and chocolate and makeup. And you’re like whatever you want but omg just pee. So there’s a whole adventure because pottytraining is hard, yo. I don’t really care if I have to sit on the floor and wait twenty minutes. If she pees, I count that as a win because omg peepee in the potty? Is a huge effin deal to us right now. Better than wasting $20 bucks buying puppy pads for all over the apartment, right?

If you’re asking how the weaning is going? I’m just going to skip over this subject and point to that squirrel doing disco over there. I know. I know. She’s three. Leave me the eff alone. I don’t care what anyone tells me about it anymore. If you point and stare, I’ll get my friends to punch your face in. If you tell me she is too big then ill throw my hot coffee in your face because so what? Did you know that my daughter has only been sick once? One ear infection in all her three years. How many times has your toddler gotten sick? Yeah. #suckit

Also, a new catchy tune was brought to my attention yesterday night by my lovely pregnant friend Monique and its called Cali Girls. Its by Katy Perry… Let me just say right off the bat that I don’t like her… Because I want her legs. Have you seen them? But also.. I think she might be a robot or a stepford wive so I’m not so jealous anymore. Anyway have you listened to that song. Here, have a listen. I’ve included it on this post from my phone. Hopefully my blackberry attaches it and its not in one of its moods. Remus, my blackberry, has been trying to start a revolution and not wanting to do things for me lately. I mean how hard is it for it to prepare breakfast? Sheesh. Ungrateful. What I meant to say was.. Or ask.. Is What are your thoughts on this song? And who would call a nylon top, daisy dukes, and stilettos an outfit? A hooker, no? Also “so hot it will melt your popsicle”? Its obvious she hasn’t heard of slow melt popsicles because holy hell, those things last for quite a while.

I lived in California for quite a while and I NEVER saw anyone wearing an outfit like that. I mean Ew. Nylon and Jeans? That’s kind of worse than cutoff jean shorts with the pockets hanging out, in my opinion. Buuuut.. If you dress like this, take no offense… Or do.. It doesn’t really matter. Its my blog. And these are my opinions. Don’t like it? There’s the X on top of the window. I’m not going to lie and say that the melody isn’t catchy… And that I DON’T sing along to parts of the song because its totally catchy and I get why its popular but it just doesn’t send the right message out.

Now excuse me while I cry my eyes out watching Return of the King… Because who the hell DIDN’T cry in this movie? You know what? Don’t even tell me. This movie is totally tears worthy. But I’m emotional and Lord of the Rings are my favourite movies of all time. It has Fantasy, Kickass fight scenes, Hobbits, Hot Elves, Romance, Ents and an amazing storyline. If you haven’t seen any yet, go read the books first then let’s gush over how many things they left out of the movie when you watch it, okay? I’ll wait…

Before I forget to bring it up.. Because I don’t know when I’m coming around again.. If you guys were around a year ago, you’ll remember me talking about Blogathon a lot. And how I was blogging for twenty four straight hours every thirty minutes. If you remember.. Those last posts were kind of senseless… But I think I will manage this year. That is, if altblogathon actually manages to launch AltBlogathon. This is the deal. If it does happen. I will tweet about it and come by and announce it again, if you forget.. So I hope you’re subscribed or whatever because I’m blogging for a very worthy charity. If my plans do go through, I will be blogging for The Layla Grace Children’s Cancer Research. Something that is very heartbreaking and I wish didn’t exist. Oh I will be blogging my Blogathon adventures over at a different blog. Be sure to stop by on July 31st and cheer me on (AND DONATE) I will have a button/link/something up on the sidebar to make it easier for you to help. This is where I’ll be Blogathon Adventures

This has been brought to you by the letter U for Unicorn.. because my daughter has been asking for one and wants to know if we can get one at the zoo.

Pamela

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Posted in It's My Life, Life Happens, Oh! Darling |

Dear Internet, I need your help.

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

I’m sitting here, on the bathroom floor, hiding from my toddler. It’s not that I’m neglecting her, its that I’m trying to wean her.

You know those old cartoons like looney tunes and kids shows where they show the trail to where it smells really good and it attracts the cartoon character? Its sort of like that. I’m the good smelling thingie and she’s the hunter. Do you know what I’m saying?

So here’s where you come in, Internet.. because honestly, I’m tired of spending hours researching how to wean a toddler off the boob without her freaking out too much. And I’d like to know if I should enforce pottytraining more while I’m trying to wean her or hold off on that. I’m anxious here.

Also? I’m thinking that her picky eating has something to do with breastmilk too. I feel that she thinks.. “Well, if I don’t eat this food in front of me, my mom is going to feel sorry for me for not eating and give me the boob so I’m just going to cry and cry and cry until the food gets cold.” What? Toddlers think in run on sentences, no? Shut up, they totally do.

So please Internet, help me! (Before I have another anxiety attack and have to stick my head in the freezer and breathe in and out to calm down!)

How did you wean your toddler?

{No judging, please}

Pamela

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Posted in Oh! Darling |

On Your Third Birthday

Monday, May 17th, 2010

To my beautiful daughter,

You are three years old today, well its eleven pm on Monday night.. so I should say tomorrow. Three years and nine months ago exactly, my life changed forever. After trying for about a year to conceive a baby, our dream finally became a reality when I peed on a cup and dipped the pregnancy stick. PREGNANT! Three years and some months ago, I went to my doctor’s appointment and the doctor told your daddy and I that you were a girl. I remember your daddy’s eyes glistening. You were your daddy’s dream too. I really should say the doctor told your daddy. I already knew. I had known since the day I found out I was pregnant. No one believed me, though.

All of our family told us that you were going to be a boy, because of how I was carrying you so low and crazy theories like that. Of how I craved certain foods. It was all nonsense, really. There was one other person who knew I was going to have a little girl. That person is your Great Grandmother. She knew somehow. Maybe she had a dream. I really don’t know but all I know is that she always gave me that knowing smile. She always told me “Usted no les haga caso, mija” when family would tell me you were a boy. Maybe that’s why you bruised my ribs so much because you were angry that they were coming up with all these crazy boy names when I had already named way before you were even just a dream.

When I first saw you, we knew Natalie was the perfect name for the sweetest little girl alive. You were just the perfect creation we had always hoped for. I had never seen a baby so beautiful and perfect in my entire life until I met you. People always wondered why we chose Natalie and we have many reasons why. Your name means “born on Christmas Day” and while you weren’t born on December 25th, you certainly were a precious gift to your daddy and me. Your name just suits you. You are sweet, caring, beautiful and so many more things.

You’ve changed our lives, forever. You teach us things, every second you breathe. You make up stories, that while they make no sense to me right now, because you talk about how “the spiders are scared of the ants and the cows are scared of the spiders” I know you will be an amazing writer once you learn how to write. You teach us that it’s totally cool if one colors outside the lines and that it’s okay to color on your walls because things like magic erasers exist in this world. Except that our rent deposit won’t exist because it will never be an off-white wall again.. unless I paint it. We love your silliness and creativity. Your spontaneity, your silly grin, and your amazing laughter. We love that you are YOU and we couldn’t be any happier to have such an amazing daughter. One who “plays doctor” and sticks thermometers up daddy’s mouth and makes sure he isn’t sick by placing your hand on his forehead and saying that “daddy is hot”.

I’m amazed at how much you grow everyday. Of how you are growing into a beautiful young lady. A little girl I am SO proud of.  Of how you have the biggest heart I’ve ever seen in a little girl. Of how you care about nature and animals and people. I love that you can go from playing with sticks outside collecting rocks, jumping in puddles and crying because you can’t find any butterflies to catch with your net to dressing like a princess and having tea parties with your dolls and playing with your “pretty hair” and coloring your hair with chalk.

There are so many more things I want to tell you in this letter but I think I have to stop now before I can’t see the computer screen through my tears. You’ve made us very happy parents, my sweet little girl. I am so lucky to have a daughter like you. A daughter who always knows how I’m feeling and cuddles extra long on those melancholy days. I wish your Great Grandma can see what a wonderful little girl you have become, but I’m sure she’s watching you now, from Heaven, and smiling with tears in her eyes. You remind me so much of her sometimes. The way you talk to plants and caress them.

Your grace touches every soul you meet. You make people laugh with your silliness, the way you talk and the manners you have when you eat. I thought that this letter would be easy to write… but it only gets harder. I’m accepting the fact that you’re growing up and you’re no longer that small and fragile baby that we brought home from the hospital.

Now you are this incredible little girl who has her own personality like she always has since day one. Her own likes and dislikes. A little girl who snorts when laughing too hard. The most perfect little girl in the world to me.

I love you from here  to the never ending universe and back again. Always

Your Mommy,

Pamela

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Posted in Oh! Darling |

Too many rants to title

Friday, May 7th, 2010

Have you noticed that I’ve blogged every day for five days in a row? That? Is so unlike me. I mean I never really have more than a few paragraphs to say.. And then BAM! I haz readers! When did that happen? Oh yeah.. when I started talking about stuff.

It’s still so weird to me. I don’t really know anyone in real life that actually blog.. And I’m not talking about a myspace blog. Well, I do know people IRL that blog now… I don’t even know what I meant to say by that so just pretend you didn’t read this paragraph. Or this post for that matter because its going to get senseless or kind of opiniated.

Last night on the news I saw that a couple got married at the Dallas Cowboys Stadium and I posted how trashy it was on twitter and on facebook. Someone on my friends list said that they didn’t see anything trashy about that.. And you know what? I totally do. I think its totally trashy. No decorations, the bride in a jersey and jeans, no walking down the aisle, no music. That’s not a wedding, to me. Nobody dressed up. I mean if you’re going to shell out money to get married at a stadium, you can afford nice dress, a tuxedo for the groom, and a band to play as you walk out of the locker rooms or whatever, no? I am not making this story up. There’s no link yet, but I’ll add the link when I find it!

Also, did I mention that my daughter got bit by a effin FIRE ANT? I’m so lucky that she was not allergic but yes.. She got stung by a friggin fire ant. That bastard. So I tweeted that whenever I find out the little crap, I’d give it a slow painful death. And that I did. I was picking up mt daughters mini polly pocket look like dolls that were by the fireplace when I spotted two fire ants. I don’t care if they were related or had children at the time. I only knew that I was going to kill the little suckers. HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A PISSED OFF MOMMY! I went and grabbed the bleach… And poured the right amount to kill them VERY SLOWLY. Just when they were about to stop twitching, I cut their heads off. That will teach a fire ant to mess with my daughter again. I’m not usually this revengeful but that sting? Made my daughter cry.

Oh and PETA, two fire ants were harmed (a lot) in the making. But you’ll understand once one bites you. Have any fire ants stung your children? They are pesky little things anyway. AND they are dangerous! So it was self defense…

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Posted in It's My Life, News, Oh! Darling |
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