Posts Tagged ‘weaning’

So Hot It Will Melt Your Popsicle

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

So I know I haven’t been around here in like forever. But I kind of abandoned this blog and have been reblogging like crazy on Tumblr. If you’re not already on Tumblr, I don’t suggest you get one. It is one of those things that sucks up your soul time. And while its fun because you totally relate to things you see there, you’ll also be like what the hell happened to the past hour and then your toddler wakes up and is like watch me jump off the top of the couch and attempt to fly and ends up with a bump on her head.

Also… I’ve been pottytraining the toddler. Which is really like omg a pain on my ass.. Literally speaking.. Because I’m sitting there on the floor singing to her, reading to her, listening to her stories while she pretends to pee. So I have to fill her cup with milk and give her a juice pouch so she’ll finally go pee and is like I want stickers and chocolate and makeup. And you’re like whatever you want but omg just pee. So there’s a whole adventure because pottytraining is hard, yo. I don’t really care if I have to sit on the floor and wait twenty minutes. If she pees, I count that as a win because omg peepee in the potty? Is a huge effin deal to us right now. Better than wasting $20 bucks buying puppy pads for all over the apartment, right?

If you’re asking how the weaning is going? I’m just going to skip over this subject and point to that squirrel doing disco over there. I know. I know. She’s three. Leave me the eff alone. I don’t care what anyone tells me about it anymore. If you point and stare, I’ll get my friends to punch your face in. If you tell me she is too big then ill throw my hot coffee in your face because so what? Did you know that my daughter has only been sick once? One ear infection in all her three years. How many times has your toddler gotten sick? Yeah. #suckit

Also, a new catchy tune was brought to my attention yesterday night by my lovely pregnant friend Monique and its called Cali Girls. Its by Katy Perry… Let me just say right off the bat that I don’t like her… Because I want her legs. Have you seen them? But also.. I think she might be a robot or a stepford wive so I’m not so jealous anymore. Anyway have you listened to that song. Here, have a listen. I’ve included it on this post from my phone. Hopefully my blackberry attaches it and its not in one of its moods. Remus, my blackberry, has been trying to start a revolution and not wanting to do things for me lately. I mean how hard is it for it to prepare breakfast? Sheesh. Ungrateful. What I meant to say was.. Or ask.. Is What are your thoughts on this song? And who would call a nylon top, daisy dukes, and stilettos an outfit? A hooker, no? Also “so hot it will melt your popsicle”? Its obvious she hasn’t heard of slow melt popsicles because holy hell, those things last for quite a while.

I lived in California for quite a while and I NEVER saw anyone wearing an outfit like that. I mean Ew. Nylon and Jeans? That’s kind of worse than cutoff jean shorts with the pockets hanging out, in my opinion. Buuuut.. If you dress like this, take no offense… Or do.. It doesn’t really matter. Its my blog. And these are my opinions. Don’t like it? There’s the X on top of the window. I’m not going to lie and say that the melody isn’t catchy… And that I DON’T sing along to parts of the song because its totally catchy and I get why its popular but it just doesn’t send the right message out.

Now excuse me while I cry my eyes out watching Return of the King… Because who the hell DIDN’T cry in this movie? You know what? Don’t even tell me. This movie is totally tears worthy. But I’m emotional and Lord of the Rings are my favourite movies of all time. It has Fantasy, Kickass fight scenes, Hobbits, Hot Elves, Romance, Ents and an amazing storyline. If you haven’t seen any yet, go read the books first then let’s gush over how many things they left out of the movie when you watch it, okay? I’ll wait…

Before I forget to bring it up.. Because I don’t know when I’m coming around again.. If you guys were around a year ago, you’ll remember me talking about Blogathon a lot. And how I was blogging for twenty four straight hours every thirty minutes. If you remember.. Those last posts were kind of senseless… But I think I will manage this year. That is, if altblogathon actually manages to launch AltBlogathon. This is the deal. If it does happen. I will tweet about it and come by and announce it again, if you forget.. So I hope you’re subscribed or whatever because I’m blogging for a very worthy charity. If my plans do go through, I will be blogging for The Layla Grace Children’s Cancer Research. Something that is very heartbreaking and I wish didn’t exist. Oh I will be blogging my Blogathon adventures over at a different blog. Be sure to stop by on July 31st and cheer me on (AND DONATE) I will have a button/link/something up on the sidebar to make it easier for you to help. This is where I’ll be Blogathon Adventures

This has been brought to you by the letter U for Unicorn.. because my daughter has been asking for one and wants to know if we can get one at the zoo.

Pamela

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Posted in It's My Life, Life Happens, Oh! Darling |

Dear Internet, I need your help.

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

I’m sitting here, on the bathroom floor, hiding from my toddler. It’s not that I’m neglecting her, its that I’m trying to wean her.

You know those old cartoons like looney tunes and kids shows where they show the trail to where it smells really good and it attracts the cartoon character? Its sort of like that. I’m the good smelling thingie and she’s the hunter. Do you know what I’m saying?

So here’s where you come in, Internet.. because honestly, I’m tired of spending hours researching how to wean a toddler off the boob without her freaking out too much. And I’d like to know if I should enforce pottytraining more while I’m trying to wean her or hold off on that. I’m anxious here.

Also? I’m thinking that her picky eating has something to do with breastmilk too. I feel that she thinks.. “Well, if I don’t eat this food in front of me, my mom is going to feel sorry for me for not eating and give me the boob so I’m just going to cry and cry and cry until the food gets cold.” What? Toddlers think in run on sentences, no? Shut up, they totally do.

So please Internet, help me! (Before I have another anxiety attack and have to stick my head in the freezer and breathe in and out to calm down!)

How did you wean your toddler?

{No judging, please}

Pamela

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Posted in Oh! Darling |

Whatever Works

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

As a working full time mom, I gave up any notion that I could be one of those perfect moms who always had snacks and helped out with the class parties. Truthfully, I doubt I could be that even if I were job-free. But let’s just say it’s due to my job that I mother by the seat of my pants. Add to that the single mom factor, and it’s even more so. I’m just doing the best I can manage.

I breastfed both of my girls. Sure, I wanted to give them a healthy start and all that. But, I have to be totally honest and tell you that being able to just lift my shirt wherever and whenever rather than put a bottle together and wash and sterilize and all that… especially at 2am? I did what worked best for me.

But here’s the kicker. With my first daughter (now 7), I did the whole self-weaning-extended-nursing thing. She quit at 2 ½. With very little nudging from me. My 3yo? STILL. WON’T. QUIT.

And I don’t know how to make her!

I’ve told her it makes me sick. I’ve told her it hurts. I’ve tried to count to 5 or 10 – sometimes that works. This week I tried bribery. I told her that I would buy her a very special present if she gives up the “Boo” for good. So, every day I remind her that she asked for a pet rabbit. Yes. I am willing to buy this child a living breathing fury creature if she would get off the boob.

But when it’s late and I’m tired and I’ve got to go to work in the morning, and she is climbing into my bed… it’s just easier to lift my shirt and let her have her way.

I keep saying, if I can get a routine going, everything will get easier. But there are only so many hours in a day. Any given evening I get to choose, bathe the girls, do the laundry, clean something, By the time bedtime rolls around, I have no energy or will to enforce the sleep in your own bed rule.

And my mornings look like this –

7:00-7:30 Yell at 7yo to get her ass out of bed repeatedly and plead for the 3yo to give up her morning Boo and go watch Sesame Street. Deal with her crying. Give in. Try again. Repeat.

7:30 Scramble like a madwoman throwing clothes around til I find something presentable, search for something for the 3yo to wear, and often find some missing article of clothing for the 7yo to wear.

7:40 Yell at 7yo to get her ass in gear –we have to go!!! Run around in varying stages of undress looking for one thing or another. This morning, it was searching for my deodorant that has apparently walked off somewhere. But it’s always something.

7:55 I’m dressed, and scrambling to dress the 3yo and yelling for 7yo to get her shoes on and brush her hair.

7:58 Find socks for the 7yo. Shove a granola bar at each of them.

8:06 Getting the girls in the car, running back in to get my blackberry, sighing at the coffee maker that didn’t get used this morning, locking the door.

8:08 Tearing out of the driveway to drive two blocks to the drop off for 7yo to get to class before she needs a late slip. One more and it’s a detention. Drop off 3yo at preschool.

8:15 Stop at 7-11 for the coffee that I could have made at home.

I’m starting to realize that if I can finally break the Boo, not only will I have my body back as 100% mine, I will gain some time to take care of other stuff. And maybe… be able to have a semi-easy routine in the mornings. First on the agenda is getting that girl to sleep in her own bed.

I know I should have done this a long time ago. But hey, I did whatever worked at the time. And it ain’t working now.

life’s a bowl of popcorn at thefirstgirl.com (twitter)

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Posted in Guest Boogers |